“Well, I have no interest at all in fishing,” the young pastor said, “but the only way that I could get close to him was to show interest in his fishing trophies.” He then went on to describe how he parlayed that friendship into Bible studies, and Bible studies into a baptism. Or another one: “He said, ‘Sure, I’ll be glad to teach you about coins.’ Of course, I had something else in mind,” the Bible worker said, to knowing grins all around.
I have heard stories like this for going on 50 years now. They always make me cringe. For me, it’s as simple as the Golden rule. I don’t want people pretending to be interested in what I’m interested in so they can persuade me to do something else. I don’t like hidden agendas. I don’t like salvation talked about like “closing a sale.”
And I know it happens all the time. We teach courses like, “Techniques of Soul Winning.” I have a problem with that. We use techniques on things. And too many times we treat nonbelievers, or believers who belonged to a different church, as things, instead of respecting them as children of God. Just think about the attitudes implied, and sometimes spoken outright, when it comes to soul winning.
Imagine if someone came to you with this proposition:
I am wise, you are not.
I have knowledge, you are ignorant.
I am in the light, and you are in darkness.
I have an agenda for our friendship, of which you know nothing.
I will lead you through a series of steps, you will follow.
I will ask for a decision, and he will make a decision.
I could go on, but you get the idea. Who in their right mind would choose to be on the receiving end of such a relationship? Yet somehow we expect other people to welcome our manipulation of the. To be grateful for our deception.
You think I’m overstating the case? I had young pastor tell me how to make certain people didn’t back out of the decision to be baptized in the time between the Bible study their home, and the ceremony in church the next Sabbath. “We have them give us their change of underwear in a plastic bag,” he told me, “so they won’t back out. They have to come to get back their underwear.” I’m not making this up. I wish I were.
I have sat through altar calls where the pastor’s wife, deacons, or other members of the evangelistic team went to individuals whose heads were bowed in prayer, and whisper in their ears to persuade them to go forward. I’ve seen candidates surrounded with such people, sometimes lifting them up to walk forward. And yes, I’ve been close enough to hear what was said more than once.
If those things had been done to me, I would’ve gotten up and walked out in disgust, and never ever returned. Maybe I’m mistaken, but I cannot reconcile these techniques with a God who values free will. And over the years, I have observed how this approach damages not only individual believers, but whole congregations. It can even influence entire conferences. I believe it has affected the entire denomination.
Now, possibly I am the only one who has ever felt this way. If the vast majority of people feel that I am out of line, I will say no more here. But if there are others who feel as I do, who are concerned that these approaches are not Christ like, and are damaging to the church, I will detail the problems I believe these approaches cause, and point the way to more constructive methods. I await your comments either way.
As an evangelist and pastor in the Seventh-day Adventist church I know that what you say is all too true. I reject several notions that they told me “had” to be followed. First, I never do meetings where those coming don’t know who we are. In fact, the best place to do meetings is in the church. Second, I try not to come across as a know it all. When people place a question in the question box my response is often, “I really don’t know.” Finally, I never coerce. My calls are short, clear, and with no added emotion (that’s the Holy Spirit’s job so I don’t do it). People are invited to join us in the cause of advancing what we see as truth but (and this is huge) they are never “guilt-tripped” into believing there is some certain punishment if they don’t. Bravo, Ed, for calling us out for our lack of openness about what our intentions are.
Ed, I’ve been guilty at times of having ulterior motives when connecting with people (my motives haven’t always been spiritual either). I’m glad you’re talking about these issues. One thing that has bothered me for years is the idea of keeping our identity from people until half way through a seminar series or Bible studies. We shouldn’t be ashamed of who we are… I came across this video today from @Seth Pierce, a college classmate of mine, and thought it was quite timely. http://youtu.be/koH2X42Rc-0
Ed, thank you for this insightful (and inciteful) post! You have incited us to think about our motives, which are not necessarily those of our Lord. But there is no substitute for a loving community of faith. When sincere seekers (and even those who aren’t there yet) sense that they are deeply loved, they will be bonded with that congregation–no tricks are needed to get them to come and stay. Jesus was referencing this love when He said it would be the true mark of His people (John 13:35).
Martin
Before we start pointing fingers at ‘Evangelists’, doing an honorable work of spreading the gospel. Let’s look at ourselves, are we keeping the ‘greatest commandment’? “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Luke 10:27) Especially the second part, do we like to be manipulated, coerced or guilt-ed into anything? I believe if we truly followed Christ command to, “Love one another as I have loved you”, we would never need to hold a single evangelistic series and our churches would always be packed beyond capacity. When Christ was on this earth people were ‘drawn’ to Him. If we are ‘true’ reflections of Him, they will be drawn to Him even today. Maybe a class on ‘Techniques to Love Your Neighbor’ is needed.
If you think the techniques I described are means of ‘honorably spreading the gospel,’ then you’re right, I was pointing fingers at them. If you believe those techniques are not ‘honorably spreading the gospel,’ the we agree.
I have witnessed the efforts of somewhere in excess of 40 evangelists up close, not counting those I see on 3ABN and other places. I wish I could say more than ten of them were not manipulative.
As far as “techniques to love your neighbor,” my first point is to caution that we do not use techniques on people, we use techniques on things. My second point is that I have just such a series of workshops on how to truly love and empower people.
I have presented portions or all of it at the Seminary at Andrews, across the U.S., in Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and in Europe. In future blog entries, I will explain parts of it.
While explaining some of it at our church, I said, “This is what we try to be.” One recently attending family said, “That’s obvious. That’s who you are!” This was especially gratifying because they had tried all the other congregations in the area, and found them wanting in this aspect.