Grief is the truth. We may want to skip over grief because it’s painful, but it is the only honest reaction to loss. Megan Devine, in her book, It’s Okay That You’re not Okay, says, “Grief is visceral, not reasonable: the howling at the center of grief is raw and real. It is love in its most wild form.” That love needs a voice. An honest voice.
As Christians, we are at our core, committed to truth.
If truth were the mast of a ship in a storm, we’d be tied to it.
It is our one thing. Jesus Christ described Himself as truth and promised the Truth will set us free. So Christians are called to embrace reality, even when it’s unpleasant. This means admitting what others deny. It means rooting out lies that have held us back in life. It means feeling the pain when something bad happens.
We have the teachings, but maybe not the practice. Stoic is the larger culture’s choice and we’ve gone along. We try not to “let things get us down” and “look on the bright side.” It’s fine to be grateful, but not as a strategy to not opt out of pain. Sometimes we can be grateful our loved ones aren’t in pain anymore and still wish they were next to us. That is our truth and we are doing life God’s way when we admit it. Confession is when our story aligns with God’s story. We need to be grounded in reality.
So speak your truth, whether it’s to a friend who can witness it without trying to fix it or whisper it in the dark. Jesus blessed the mourners in the Beatitudes for expressing their grief and His blessing is on you as well.