Standing up front at the youth rally, I’m singing the best I can muster. Then it happens. I see the lyrics hit the prompter,“Why are still looking for love? Why are you still searching, as if I’m not enough?”

My eyes flood. I choke up a little–fighting to continue, holding back. A sad thought enters my mind. How much time do I waste wondering who I’ll fall in love with? How much time do I give to God–to get to know the one who loves me the most?

God should be my all in all. The rest is extra. I’m trying to take this in. I can’t fathom NOT caring if I’m single for the rest of my life. Who wants to be a nun?! Not I for one. It can be a lonely world sometimes. I long for someone special to hold me, share life’s special moments, whisper sweet things in my ear, and encourage me through the hard times. A partner. But isn’t God all of this and more?

  • God gives me encouragement when I need it most. He sends me friends with hugs, pugs with snorts, and A’s in math where I feel like I’ll fail.
  • He shares every moment in my life with me. I may not see Him there, but He is. He provides me ways to travel, to see His awesome creation, and meet new people who give me joy. It’s all from Him!
  • He also speaks to me. When I read the Bible, I can hear how wonderful He says I am and how much He loves me. It says he pursues me and that his love is everlasting. It never gets old!

“And please don’t fight, these hands that are holding you”

I think this is why I have such a hard time realizing how much God is a part of my life. I’m too busy trying to do things my way–not letting Him help me. Surrendering my life, my will, and my plans are what He’s asking of me–of us. He wants our lives not to control them, but to bless them. If He knows the beginning to the end, is it safe to assume He knows best?

God is waiting. He cries for our hearts, so they can be made whole again. The question is, will I let Him?

By Your Side-Tenth Avenue North

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don’t turn away 

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I’m not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I’ll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don’t fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world’s sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life