I said “yes”
I wore the ring
I shouted from rooftops
I danced and sang

I said “yes” 
Wore my best gown
I fixed my hair
But was let down

I said “yes”
But someone said 
I can’t be with Him 
Until I’m dead

I said “yes, I will wait”
I said “yes, until that day”
I said “yes” but didn’t say

There’s got to be a better way. 

There is a better way, though I didn’t learn it until I was squarely in the category of “grown up,” and I always wonder how great it would’ve been to learn the truth of the gospel at an earlier stage of life. Waiting to experience the transformation of the gospel until I’m dead was a pretty bleak outlook.

So what does the Bible actually say about the gospel and how and when it’s accessible to us?

Let’s continue with the concept of marriage and see if we can better understand:

  1. Immediate Unification
    In Galatians 3, Paul discusses the relationship between the Gentiles and the Jews, famously saying, “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:23).
    See, the unification with and for Christ is not something that steadily happens over time. It is something that happens as quickly as falling in love with life with a person, as soon as you fall in love with the person. You’re at once family together, brothers and sisters with Christ, and children of God as quickly as you are in-laws with your spouse’s family upon marriage. It is instantaneous, this union of God’s people. Why would He make us wait?
  2. Marriage Gifts
    In Ephesians 4, Paul speaks more on unity—”one body and one Spirit” (Ephesians 4:1-6), and then comes to a very important concept that we seem to get wrong often. In the context of marriage, the Spirit brings good gifts when we are united with Christ, in the form of individual gifts and fruits.
    These gifts are not something we have to strive for. In fact, there is no imagery of that from Paul or any New Testament writers. The gifts are just that—gifts—freely given and free to use. To be united with Christ is to have the Fruits of the Spirit: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control… If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit” (Galatians 5:22-25).
  3. Mutual Submission
    Paul doubles down on the imagery of being united with Christ in Ephesians 5: “For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones” (Ephesians 5:30). He doesn’t use this strong imagery arbitrarily, but to emphasize the complete and instantaneous unification with Christ. Just before, Paul makes the point that you cannot hate yourself, so if you are in Christ, how can you hate Christ? It follows that if you are in Christ, you submit to Christ as you submit to yourself: “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body” (Ephesians 5:22-23). Why do we submit to Him? Because He is our Savior and we are subject to Him, in that we live because He saved us.
  4. Mutual Love
    Ephesians 5 is not just a message for the wives. Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word… So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:25-28). This is where Paul asserts that if a wife is in you, which, scripturally, she is, you must love her: “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and bones” (Ephesians 5:29-30). So, love toward yourself, your wife, and between Christ and the church looks like nourishing, cherishing, sanctifying, cleansing.
  5. The Great Mystery
    We do not understand love. It is hard to articulate even to the one whom we love. Falling in love is one thing, but commitment, other-centered selflessness, and the unconditional nature of mutual love and emotional and physical intimacy are just as difficult to comprehend. Speaking on this, Paul says, “‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church” (Ephesians 5:31-32). Paul rightly sees that the husband and wife becoming one flesh is a mystery, and we should likewise see that becoming one with Christ is just as great a mystery—more so even. Does our inability to understand it make it any less true?

It is hard to understand that you are one with Christ, walking in the Spirit, dead to flesh, and forgiven of all unrighteousness, but that doesn’t make it untrue. If we believe Paul was met on the road to Damascus, transformed in heart by Christ, and that his teachings and lifestyle were meaningful to the church and Christ, we must also believe his gospel teaching.

If you doubt your immediate standing with Christ now , and not a future destination you may reach, take the next week and read these passages:

Ephesians 1 – God’s free grace means we are free to choose Him and believe in the power of His blood, the fullness of His grace, and our position as adopted sons and daughters.

Ephesians 2 – It is by grace we are saved through faith, putting the entire redemption process squarely on Jesus’ shoulders, and our only work is belief.

Ephesians 3 – The mystery of God, His process through Christ, and our place in it, which leads to our devotion and praise.

Ephesians 4 – Our place in God’s kingdom, His earthly church, and how to live among each other in newness of life.

Ephesians 5 – What love and life look like in God’s kingdom, in the church, within families, the workplace, and beyond.

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