The month of love is upon us. If you haven’t already, you will be told that you must buy the right flowers or box of chocolate, or make the right reservation to the right restaurant, in order to properly communicate your love to your special person. While there is nothing wrong with flowers or chocolate, a lot of the Valentine’s frenzy can be wrapped in performance. Perform well enough, and you’ll guarantee one more year of love. Get Valentine’s wrong, and your relationship may be in danger.
Sadly, many of us live constantly thinking we need to do many things in order to earn the love of everyone around us. Including God!
Yet, in a story we tend to overlook way too often, Jesus tells us we actually only need one thing. Jesus and his disciples were staying at the home of his friends: Mary, Martha and Lazarus. During that time, Martha was restlessly hosting, trying her very best to give Jesus and his companions a great meal and a cozy home. Meanwhile, her sister Mary was sitting at the feet of Jesus, captivated by his words and presence. Annoyed by her sister’s disregard for all the things she thought needed to be done, Martha spoke to, or scolded, Jesus:
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” (Luke 10:40).
I can be like Martha, not only on Valentine’s Day. I can get myself so worked up doing stuff for others that I end up angry with the very people I am trying to love. And again, this often happens because of the mistaken belief that I have to do something to be worthy of love.
So, what does Jesus tell Martha?
“Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. 42 But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42).
Did you get it? Many things are good, but only one thing is needed. And what is it? Time spent together. Free from conditions or expectations. Love freely given and freely received. Intimacy. That’s the only thing that any loving relationship needs. Time that makes relationships grow roots and grow into something beautiful. Then acts of service, flowers, chocolate, and a nice meal by a fireplace are born from that love, not for it. We shower each other with gifts of love, big and small, not to be loved but because we are so loved. And that, my friends, is a far higher quality of love. The key? To remember that, this month and always, you only need one thing.
