I’ve been seeing a therapist since January 2024, and she couldn’t have come along at a better time since my first appointment with her was two days before my dad died.
In fact, it was after his cancer diagnosis that I really leaned into the idea of seeing a therapist again. I’d never had much “luck” with them in the past. I’d even been burned by one many years ago. However, as dad’s condition worsened and winter loomed, I felt myself plunging into cold and darkness along with the rest of the Northern hemisphere.
I remember, leading up to the New Year, joining a virtual Bible study (the last one I would attend before spring) and telling the ladies there I felt poisonous. Where once I had a well of light and joy inside, there was a pool of sadness instead. I remember telling them this with no inkling of emotion, just a bit of pity for who I had once been.
My intake appointment was two days before my dad died, so between the appointment where she met me and the appointment one week later, I was a different person completely.
I had one goal in therapy. It was to find a coping mechanism that wasn’t: Jesus.
Oof… as the kids say.
I set out on a mission in therapy more than two years ago. I’ve sat with a stranger on the internet fifty-seven times (that’s fifty-seven hours) and learned one real thing—and it’s something I already knew.
The often-quoted text from Paul is as relevant today as ever: “casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 5:10, NKJV).
Therapy taught me the “how to” part of capturing every thought. Several sessions were spent physically writing down my thoughts and questioning them as if they were on trial.
- Not every thought I have is my business
- Not every thought I have is true.
- Not every thought I have is helpful.
- Not every thought that’s true is pleasant.
- Not every thought has to land.
I heard the concept of airplane thoughts on a podcast just as I was working through this process in therapy. It’s like this: imagine your thoughts are planes flying through your airspace. Some are jets, flying high above; some are cropdusters that may need to fuel up to finish the job; some are helicopters, loud, low, and irritating; then there are some flying so high and so fast, and the day is so clear, you won’t see them unless you really focus. You can’t control the planes that fly in your airspace or who flies them, but you can control which planes get to land. If you see a plane flying low and circling for landing, but it looks like a threat, you don’t have to let it land. That’s the most freeing thing I’ve ever learned moving through grief…and life.
So, if you grew up in the church like me, and you’ve always looked at Pauls’ words with question marks in thought bubbles above your head, and if you have tried to keep intrusive thoughts from stealing your joy and messing up your life, but wondering how it’s supposed to work, this may help.
Here is a thought record that may help you examine and capture your thoughts.
The most helpful thing to me in recording my thoughts was the believability rating. Next to each thought or belief, I would put a percentage to represent how much I believed the “think” I was thinking 😉 and then how comfortable I was with that level of belief.
This helped me decide whether to let the plane land. If it were worth letting the plane land, I would have to make room for the baggage that would be carried off that plane. (See how this all works?)
I’ve been doing therapy for more than two years, but I was able to stop writing my thoughts down a long time ago. Now all this happens in my head…I think the way Paul intended—the way God intended. The process of capturing every thought and making it obedient to TRUTH has helped me navigate everything in life. I hope it helps you too.
