I’ve been learning a new language, the language of chaplaincy. Moving through this first training phase, I feel the growing pains of integrating it into my spiritual and emotional toolbox alongside languages I know, like restorative justice and trauma work. I’ve waited to write about this season until I had more clarity. And while I’m still in process, one thing is sure: God is re-teaching me the language of total dependency, a language I once knew fluently. But when life gives us more access to stability, income, or influence, it can blur the lines between depending on God and depending on ourselves.
In this season of spiritual re-immersion, God reminded me of some foundational truths, His house rules for walking with Him. These aren’t rules to control us, but truths that protect and steady us when life becomes uncertain.
- God acknowledges our fears and courage and gives us Himself to manage them.
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- Joshua 1:9 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
- Matthew 10:29-31 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
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- God speaks to the trust He desires us to have in Him, even when life makes no sense and brings us painful experiences.
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- Proverbs 3:5-6 5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.
- Psalm 62:5-8 5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him. 6 Truly He is my rock and my salvation, He is my fortress, I will not be shaken. 7 My salvation and my honor depend on God, He is my mighty rock, my refuge. 8 Trust in Him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge.
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- God wants us to remember that He knows how to care for us. Through His justice and judgments as Sovereign King, the integrity of His name as Provider, and the confirming of His role as our Provider not only of our salvation but of our daily grace and sustenance.
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- Psalm 36:6 Your righteousness is like the highest mountains, your justice like the great deep. You, Lord, preserve both people and animals.
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When Healing Is More Than Physical
I’m so grateful for my doctors and their mindfulness and attention to every medical and emotional detail in my care, which, Praise God, are improving.
My psychiatrist makes sure I have my depression and PTSD meds despite not having insurance since January, when I was let go from my teaching job, and he made sure to check in as I dealt with the grief stages from that loss.
My counselor continues to keep me in her appointment calendar for free since January and has figured out that part of my therapy, which works, is speaking about Jesus in my life…talk therapy sure works. She has also figured out that writing ushers in miracles from the Holy Spirit because there is no way I am supposed to be able to write articles as much as I am writing. God keeps bypassing my mental health struggles and speaks clearly and insightfully through my writing.
My primary doctor admonished me to keep coming and not to go unseen if I needed to be seen. She said, “Don’t worry about the money.” I saw my primary on Friday, and the first thing she did was hold my face and tell me that she liked my hair as is, even though it is growing back, but it still shows some of the weak areas. Then, when leaving, she hugs me and says, “We got you!”
Such support from your medical team is reassuring, especially when they know I’m about to go through another difficult season of spinal epidurals. Doctors can make or break your trust in them. I’m grateful that I’ve had doctors who listen, journey with me, and don’t treat me like a mortgage payment, expendable, a burden, or a number on the roster for the day! God is good to me! Such grace and mercy are unexplainable…But God!
Provision in the Small Things
The Holy Spirit is always actively impressing on the minds of people to show grace and acts of kindness to those who are hiding under His wings and have put their every need in His care. I can say so much about the people who, in prayer or thought, were guided to gift me the things which I had no way to receive.
Last week I had to get my oil changed. Basic maintenance, but then the mechanics said that I needed wipers. When I had the oil changed, the wipers were supposed to be changed, so hearing that was amazing because we had heavy rains a couple of days ago, and one would never believe the wipers are bare nothing because they worked just fine. I believe that is another miracle in the long list of experiences I have had with God.
Anyway, I told her to go ahead. It was an additional $30 that I didn’t budget for, but for me, it is always safety first. When she texted me the price, it was only $40 for the oil change, so I assumed I would pay the additional cost when I got there. Well, when I got there, she leaned over and said, “I paid for the windshield wipers. I thought about it, and something told me to cover your costs.” If I had to shout everything God flexes like this, I would be on the 5 PM news. I thanked her and pronounced a prayer and blessing over her life for her kindness. She gave sacrificially because just over the weekend before I came in, she was hit by a driver who ran the red light, and it totaled her car. She needed her funds, but she gave with the request to be blessed.
Boasting in God
I don’t write these things to boast because it sure ain’t me, but I boast about God’s unmatched grace and kindness and some of the byproducts of being in an intimate relationship with Him.
There is no time constraint on the works of God. We see decades, but it’s one timeline for Him; that’s why Hebrews 13:8 requires us to take off the time restraints on God and acknowledge and understand that “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.” Years do not lessen His ability to show His strong arm in our natural experiences. Christ may not be in the flesh, but remember when He left, the apostles, disciples, and many others were able to bless and heal and free people with the same miracles as Jesus did.
So, like I have challenged myself, I hope you consider doing the same… expect miraculous phenomena in your life from the same God!
