I have listened to a podcast for years called Marriage After God. It features a husband and a wife that have dedicated their marriage to ministry–not just living well for Christ, but teaching others to do so as well. They talk about the nitty gritty of marriage and aren’t afraid to share the personal bits of their own life and marriage. 

It is on the Marriage After God podcast that I first heard Aaron Smith, say “Are you sacrificing your family on the altar of ministry?” and “What are you sacrificing on the altar of ministry?” 

No–he isn’t insinuating that you must sacrifice your family on the altar of ministry, but that you shouldn’t. 

Biblical Altars

Throughout the Bible, altars were sacred spaces—places where people met with God, surrendered something of value, and offered worship—but, not every altar was holy. The kind of altar we build and the spirit in which we build it matters deeply.

In Genesis 4, Cain brings an offering to God, just as his brother Abel does. While Abel brings the firstborn of his flock—his best—Cain simply brings “some of his crops.” There’s no indication of sacrifice, surrender, or reverence. God accepts Abel’s offering but rejects Cain’s. Many have debated why, but the heart of the matter seems to be just that: the heart.

Cain’s altar was self-serving. He checked a box but withheld trust.

It’s a sobering reminder that not every offering honors God—especially when done out of duty or pride rather than faith and obedience.

Abraham’s altar, however, was one of obedience and faith. We see in Genesis 12 that God asks him to sacrifice Isaac, the son of promise, and Abraham doesn’t argue—he obeys. He brings his son up the mountain, builds an altar, ties his son down, and lifts a knife…

Did Abraham want to sacrifice his son? No way! I’m sure tears streamed down his face, muddying his beard, scaring the boy on the altar. Through his obedience, though, God likely granted him peace—otherwise he could never have lifted that knife. We don’t have to wonder how the story ends, though, because scripture tells us God provided a ram for the altar and Abraham names this place “The Lord Will Provide.” 

Abraham’s altar was built on obedience and faith—and God showed up.

Then there’s Elijah on Mount Carmel in 1 Kings 18. Elijah doesn’t just pray—he rebuilds the broken altar of the Lord. He soaks the wood and sacrifice with water, so when the fire of God falls, it’s clear who the true God is. Elijah’s altar was public, drenched in faith, and designed to showcase God’s power, not his own.

These stories teach us that altars matter. What we place on them matters, and why we build them matters. Cain’s was convenience. Abraham’s was surrender. Elijah’s was restoration.

The hard truth? Even a good thing like ministry can become a Cain-like altar if it’s built at the expense of obedience, humility, or relationships.

If we’re not careful, we may start offering up our marriages, our children, or our own spiritual health in the name of ministry. We learn from Abraham, Able, and Elijah that our place is not on the altar (and it’s not the place for our family members. Our place is not one of sacrifice—it’s of worship. We build the altar, we have faith that God provides, and we’re obedient in our worship. He’s looking for presence.

What kind of altar are you building? More importantly—who or what are you placing on it?

Building the Family Altar

Considering these altars and others from the Old Testament, you can see a pattern. God was always very specific about what He desires from us. In the Old Testament God’s people gave up the best of what they had (their livestock), even animals that became pets, beloved by the family. However, this shifted in the New Testament. There, the altar took the shape of a cross, and the sacrifice was God’s own son. 

God Himself sacrificed His family on the altar so that we don’t have to. 

The fact is, the work of the sacrificial offering was done—finished—centuries before you and I were born, when Jesus died to conquer sin and death for all time. 

Because of Him, we no longer have to build altars. We no longer raise an animal only to give it up in a brutal display of faith. We now worship through the altar God built and the sacrifice He gave there. 

The family altar is built with belief and the offering is found by faith. 

If you believe Jesus finished the work, God doesn’t need your altar or your family (or job, relationships, fortune, etc) as a sacrifice. So, what should we bring Him? Our worship. 

If you have been running through ministry like a race and dragging your family alongside you, I encourage you to look inward.

Do you believe Jesus’ life was the end of sin and death? Do you believe His life, death, and resurrection brought you from death into life?

A Prayer for Your Family

Father in Heaven,
We want to know You more. We believe, God, that You are the head of our family, and You would not want our family to struggle through ministry. Help us to build our ministry upon faith and to wait for You to provide each step beyond our understanding. We don’t have to provide the sacrifices for worship, Father, because You did. Thank You for providing then and now and in the future. Let our waiting be worship. Show us how. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.